Clarity comes with remembering

It's amazing the things you'll remember when the fog lifts. The things we suppress just to be in survival mode. 
Every ruined holiday, birthday, vacation. Every party you didn't get invited too because he was a drunk and ruined the last one. Being left out of camping trips, card nights, going out as a group. 
Not to mention all the neighbors over the years that avoided you. The kids who teased your kids because they overheard adult talk about what happens at your house. My X never cared what anyone thought. Not about him. Not about me. Not about our kids. 

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