Selfish lovers are Sexual Abusers

For years... years! I knew he was selfish. It was always about him. Everything was about him. 
He blamed his inability to perform on "you just turn me on so much, I can't help it". Sex NEVER lasted more than 3 minutes. Unless he was drunk and.... need I say more? 
The only time I got something out of it was when he knew I was disconnecting. Just gave that little bit to pull me back in. Promising to spend more time, promising to improve. 
Some therapist once said his obsession with porn growing up played a huge part in his loss of control. Nah, HE WAS A SELFISH LOVER!  And that will NEVER change. 
The lack of emotion or concern for my needs brings forth the "sexual abuse". He used me. He left me there feeling empty every time he got up and pulled up his pants. Not saying a word. Just leaving the room. 
Then there's the times I would ask him for grocery money and he would bargain for a blow job. We'd be on a long road trip and he'd whip it out and demand a blow job. He had a way of making me feel like I owed it to him. The guilt. The manipulation. The shame that followed. I was broken by this man. NO MORE! 

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