They suffered too

I stayed... for many reasons. The wrong reasons. But I didn't know it at the time.  When I look back on all the things I put up with, all the fights, heartache, lying, cheating, mental abuse, I realize it wasn't just me that put up with it.  
For the longest time I held my ground and said I protected my kids the best I could but I didn't really. I gave them enough love, that should have come from 2 parents and regardless of doing so,  they still missed out on that 2 parent love.  
My son's love was bought with dirtbikes. It was the only time he got one on one time with his Dad. My girls, didn't get anything from him until he actually felt some guilt and bought their love with horses. But when things got tough, it wasn't the dirtibikes that got sold. And looking back on it, he wasn't bothered one bit by the deep heartache he caused our girls. 
I stayed because we had a home. My kids had a room. My kids had food. My kids had clothes. Now that they are older, all I hear is, "we would of rather been homeless". I know they don't understand what that would have meant.  How that would have felt. But what they do know is what a broken home feels like. Broken with 2 parents who shouldn't have been together. Who had no business under the same roof. 

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