Nature takes care of things


Sometimes, nature says, "hold on a little longer, I got this!" 
Nothing I could have done would have been any worse than the Karma that falls on him now. NOTHING. The old me would have been crushed, fearful, emerged in him. She also would have been depressed, misused, and taken for granted. 
The new me?... well, she refuses to look at this as if it's anything to do with what he did TO ME. He brought this upon himself. HE DID THIS! 
Our youngest made the statement that "It's his karma for what he did". I knew I was healed when I reminded her that this is the result of a lifestyle led by alcohol and drugs not the abuse and not the abandonment. I will not take the blame for this one! 
He has cancer. 25% in his bone marrow. 75% blood. Lymphnodes tested positive. He started chemo last week and it's doing what chemo does. 
A part of me wants to feel sorry for him. But the part of me that he destroyed is fighting that sympathy. I pray about it. Pray for God to restore my heart to empathy. Maybe it's in there somewhere but at the moment, I'm happy it's not me taking care of him. I'm happy it's not me he's making do everything. I'm extremely happy I'm not being treated like shit! 
Nature has a way of taking care of things, you know? And I'm not sitting in prison missing out. 

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