Breaking the Bondage of Narcissism

Notice the title of this blog? It's a statement he made when he tried to justify what he was doing. Saying there was nothing but drama with me and he was done with it.  So tell me... Does complaining to your adult kids insidiously, not count as "drama"?  Is blaming someone else for the way things are (when the way things are, are due to your own actions), not drama? Is cussing at your kids for things they have no control over, not drama?  It's been a year and a half since I've spoken to him. Longer since I set eyes on him. I've had NO interest in having anything to do with him. I don't talk to his "friends". I have nothing to do with the people he has claimed as his new "family". The only people he and I communicate with together are OUR kids.  A few days ago our youngest daughter took a charger back to him that our son had borrowed. She came home visibly upset. The entire time she was there, he complained about how he sits ...

3 months ago I was suicidal. It lasted well into last month. I fought everyday with thoughts to end my pain. Where, when, how... every single fucking day. I would be out driving and hope someone would swerve into me, t-bone my car, hit me head on. There were even times I'd look for a pole to smash into at a high speed. I didn't want to be here.  This is what hurting someone so badly does to them. You destroy them. Unable to see the blessings around them. Unable to feel the love from other people or see that they are needed by anyone. To pull myself out of my thoughts, I had to look for these things and focus on them. It's so much easier to be miserable when you're hurting than to put on a fake smile, pretend to be ok, go on as if nothing is wrong. The hard part was making people believe you were ok, when you're not. How could they not see it? How could the ones closest to you NOT see it?  And then.... one day I woke up and I was a little bit stro...

She has attempted suicide many times. Contemplated it more than anyone knows. Her own son and his girlfriend found her in her closet with a noose around her neck.   But you wouldn't know it when you walk into her house. The minute the friends come around, he's a completely different person. That's why she doesn't mind the constant visitors. It's the only time she has peace.  He expects her to smile and laugh and act like he's the best husband in the world. And his friends believe it.  What they wouldn't believe is he's a cheater. Even if proof was put in their face. But the one time she welcomed phone calls from a friend from her past, he made her call everyone and tell them she's a lying, cheating whore. If she wanted to stay, she had to admit her guilt to everyone.  He tried to sleep with her best friend once. His best friends girl. She refused him and told his wife. The wife believed her, but his torment was far to grea...

I post a lot of things about narcissism on my Facebook. Both my personal profile and my "Breaking the Bondage" page. What I post on my page gets shared on my Instagram. I'm even thinking about starting a TikTok. And here, I have my blog where I can tell bits and pieces of my story.  I do ALL of this to "recover" and now that I'm feeling the healing power of knowldege, I want others to have it too. Knowledge is so powerful.  Like when we're sick and we google our symptoms. Then we can take our medicine. The knowing helps us decide what medicine we need to take. The medicne makes us feel better until the ailment goes away. Sure we can skip the medicine and just wait it out.  But... do you ever wonder if you would just take the medicine that you would "heal" faster?  Or, maybe if we hadn't googled the symptoms we wouldn't know what the problem was? Ok, ok... I know a symptom can mean anything. But you know your body. You know w...