Trapped in a house of horror


She has attempted suicide many times. Contemplated it more than anyone knows. Her own son and his girlfriend found her in her closet with a noose around her neck.  

But you wouldn't know it when you walk into her house. The minute the friends come around, he's a completely different person. That's why she doesn't mind the constant visitors. It's the only time she has peace. 
He expects her to smile and laugh and act like he's the best husband in the world. And his friends believe it. 
What they wouldn't believe is he's a cheater. Even if proof was put in their face. But the one time she welcomed phone calls from a friend from her past, he made her call everyone and tell them she's a lying, cheating whore. If she wanted to stay, she had to admit her guilt to everyone. 
He tried to sleep with her best friend once. His best friends girl. She refused him and told his wife. The wife believed her, but his torment was far to great to speak up. She looked at her friend and asked, "what am I supposed to do?". Of course he denied it when his best friend confronted him. Called her a liar. These same 2 guys who would cheat while on the road hauling cars. 
He use to haul cars for a living. Would send his buddy texts of some "hot girl" at a truck stop. The friend, disregarded the marriage and encouraged him to take the girl back to his truck. Same friend would sit at the dinner table with his friends family acting like they were his family too. 
He kept track of her. Had a tracker on her phone. She was never allowed to take the location off or forget her phone at home. One day coming home from work, she had to take a detour through a neighborhood because of a road block. He immediately called her screaming that he knew she was cheating and to get home and pack her stuff and get out of his house. He would read her messages, look at her call log. If she deleted anything he could find it using the email attached to the app. 
He forced her to have sex. Forced her to do many things especially when she was sick or in pain. Just to torture her. He loved to see her cry. Almost like it turned him on. 
When he worked in Alaska, he would call her in the middle of the night and torment her with accusations. Belittle her and tell her she was ugly and he didn't love her anymore. He would tell her to pack her stuff and get out. Sadly, she would do it. Even if he was thousands of miles away, she would do it. Even if she had to be to work in a few hours. Even when she had no where to go. 
She's trapped in a house of horrors. And she believes her only way out is to off herself. 
































































































































Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You can come but he can't...

Image
"If I can't go, you can't go" BUT he could go without me?  This is how my PTSD of inviting myself anywhere began.  We use to get invited to a lot of gatherings. Parties, picnics, etc. At first it was a lot of fun. Making friends. The laughter. The feeling of fitting in. Then it began. As he became more comfortable with our "peeps", when he felt like they loved him enough that he could be himself... the drinking increased and the inappropriate behavior was unleashed. Eventually the invites became, "you can come but leave him at home". How do you think that went over? Yep. "You can't go if I can't go."  My kids had to lose the friends they made at these gatherings. I had to give up my friendships. This repeated for years with each new group of "friends" we would make. Until he made his own friends who drank as much as he did. And then it was ok for him to go without me.  It annoyed the heck out of me when peopl...
Read more

Nature takes care of things

Image
Sometimes, nature says, "hold on a little longer, I got this!"  Nothing I could have done would have been any worse than the Karma that falls on him now. NOTHING. The old me would have been crushed, fearful, emerged in him. She also would have been depressed, misused, and taken for granted.  The new me?... well, she refuses to look at this as if it's anything to do with what he did TO ME. He brought this upon himself. HE DID THIS!  Our youngest made the statement that "It's his karma for what he did". I knew I was healed when I reminded her that this is the result of a lifestyle led by alcohol and drugs not the abuse and not the abandonment. I will not take the blame for this one!  He has cancer. 25% in his bone marrow. 75% blood. Lymphnodes tested positive. He started chemo last week and it's doing what chemo does.  A part of me wants to feel sorry for him. But the part of me that he destroyed is fighting that sympathy. I pray about it. Pray...
Read more

Wake your ass up...

Image
Years later and I'm still triggered by the abuse. Last night I had to take my youngest (20) to the ER and while she apologized profusely for his late it was (work night(, I couldn't help but remember when my kids were little and I was the only one in the ER with them.   As you can imagine, with 5 kids, that's a lot of ER visits over time.   This morning I'm forced to get up for work on 3 hrs of sleep. Only this time, I don't have an angry, heartless asshole standing over me telling me to,  "Get the fuck up".  (BTW... my daughter is ok).  This memory just makes me resent myself for staying. I allowed him to bully me and dictate everyday as if I owed him. As if he owned me.  It didn't matter if it was a near all night visit to the ER, a fussy newborn or me being sick. Didn't matter.  But let him be hungover AF. Let him be sick.  Me....Jumping up to keep the kids quiet, making sure the TV isn't too loud, not letting any door in ...
Read more