NO CONTACT

One day out of nowhere, I was totally discarded. Even though I had no desire to return to the abuse, but the cut off and the way he did it... STUNG! Or maybe it was the build up before the discard? 
Literally a week before his decision he was telling me we belonged together. That we were made for eachother.  "We've been through so much and I just want to prove everyone wrong".  
So why wasn't I falling for it? Maybe it was the constant video calling to see where I was. The showing up unannounced and coming through my door like he was going to catch me doing something. Or the morning phone calls on my way in to work that completely ruined my mood. I was so sick of hearing,  "I know you're effing someone" when he had clear evidence that I was home EVERY night. Video background doesn't lie. 
It wasn't until a few days after the discard that I learned about her. The girl feeding his ego. The girl he was all of the sudden involved with. 
All that torment and accusations and finger pointing... at me. He needed an excuse to justify his actions. What he was doing.  

A month later I've stopped crying myself to sleep. The thoughts of ending my misery have left me. I no longer care what he told others to gain approval for his actions. It had to have been a doozy to dismiss what I did for him when he was "dying". 
Don't get me wrong, I'm still healing from the trauma. I lost a long time friend (not him). My kids hated that I let him hurt me so badly and reacted to it. I just hope they can see me healing and know I have no intentions of burning that bridge. 
I'M BLOWING THAT MF UP! 

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